It's probably no secret to anyone who reads this blog and certainly to anyone who knows me personally that currently my husband and I have nothing in savings. Do I think this is wise? No. Do I think this is irresponsible of us? No, in our particular season of life I do not think it is irresponsible of us to not have a savings account. Would it be nice? Absolutely. Would it be a lot less stressful if we did? Of course it would be! However, once again I am forced to remind myself that in this stage of life we are trying to survive, not pay off debt, put money in our children's college funds, or save for retirement.
You see, earlier this year my husband was laid off after several months of little or no work. We did have savings, unfortunately we did not have going on 12 months of living expenses in a savings account, so it was only a few months before our savings account was gone. When it appeared my husband had his job back, he broke his thumb, but since it didn't happen at work not only did we not have unemployment coming in, we also had no insurance. Making things a bit more interesting is the fact that during this time I unexpectedly found myself pregnant for the third time in less than two years! Just to make things a little more interesting, you should also know that our house has been sitting on the market for well over a year now.
However, even though these circumstances seem crazy and stressful, these were the events that God used to allow my husband to finally go back to college. Going back to college to complete a 2 year program that would make for a better life for us in the long run is something my husband and I have been wanting to happen for at least two years, but we were never sure how to make it work. And we certainly never foresaw that he would be going back to school before we sold our house. Thankfully, God has other plans. I don't pretend to understand why God hasn't provided a buyer for our home before allowing Erik to go back to college. In fact, there have been many times that I have cried out to the Lord and asked Him what's going on.
During this difficult season of life, it has been very easy for me to give into the temptation to grow anxious. There have been many times I have felt like a bad person when I read other peoples blogs about how financially savy they are, or talk to someone who seems to have it all together. I even hesitated to put on my blogs header the verse, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you," because I didn't want anyone reading this blog to think I was some sort of feel good Christian, someone who thinks that the only agenda God has is for us to be happy. Because I certainly am not. However, this verse has been one of my constant go to verses. Jesus promises that we NEVER have to worry about what we will eat or what we will wear, even the sparrows will have their needs met- how much more will we have our needs met? What a peace! What a blessing to know that God promises to never leave us or forsake us. As it says in Hebrews 13, we are not to love money, but instead be content with what we have, because He promises to NEVER leave us!
When I am tempted to grow weary and anxious, when I am tempted to think, "Ok, God, we only have this much left in checking, and this bill is due next week!" I am quickly reminded of Hebrews 13 and those verses in Matthew. God promises to meet our needs RIGHT NOW, so I'm constantly just reminding myself that obviously God isn't worried about it, and He knows what's best for us always, so I certainly don' t need to worry. Instead I can meditate on the principle that God is who He says He is, and in His lovingkindness has allowed us to have His Word to read, study, be comforted by, and encourage others with all for His Glory!
Obviously, I hope one day things will be different for us, though I am careful not to make an idol out of that hope, because I am certain each season brings its own unique trials and blessings. So for right now, I'm holding fast to the promise that even though all I see now is potentially worrisome situations, God is the only one who knows the future and the only One who truly knows what is best for us, and will give us the Grace to get through any situation.