You're not Fat

You're pregnant! I can't even begin to tell you how often I've heard that in the last 25 weeks. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I have spent the better part of this pregnancy obsessing worrying about my weight. For whatever reason, I've been more preoccupied with my weight during this fourth pregnancy of mine than any other. If I was going out with friends I wanted to be sure to wear the shirt that made me look the most pregnant, if I ate a bigger portion than everyone else I'd be sure to point out I was pregnant and very hungry.  There were times I wouldn't want my husband to wrap his arms around me for fear he'd feel my belly and think I was gaining too much weight(because obviously he'd forget I was carrying his child ;) 


Needless to say I was getting a tad ridiculous.


A few weeks ago some friends and I were lamenting the woes of pregnancy together. One of my friends, who just had her fourth baby a few months ago, was trying to encourage us that we should think of pregnancy as the opportunity to give life to another person. At the time I brushed off her encouragement, and honestly I probably thought it was easy for her to say since she was back in regular clothes again! 

A few days later, though, God pointed me to a blog post, of all things, that opened my eyes to how silly I was being. If you're interested you can read the whole article here, but I'll share the quote that really opened my eyes.

"Our bodies are tools, not treasures.  You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used.  By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dinted body.  Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used.  Those are the right kind of damages…We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use.  So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully.  You want to fix your body up in order to be able to use it some more. We should not be trying to fix it up to put it back on the shelf out of harm’s way or to try to make ourselves look like nothing every happened.  Your body is a tool.  Use it.”  -Rachel Jankovic, Loving the Little Years


I quickly sent it to my friends who were having similar struggles, and then let the truth sink into my heart. 
Who did I think I was? Why did I allow my shallowness to rob me of the joy of carrying our fourth baby? I should know by now that pregnancy is temporary. I mean seriously what's nine months of weight gain and discomfort when compared to bringing another person into the world? 


I resolved that I was at least going to try to have a better attitude for the rest of this pregnancy. I even told my husband that if he heard me complaining about how much weight I was gaining he had to pinch me or something, to which he happily agreed. 


"One of the greatest testimonies Christian women can have in our world today is the testimony of joyfully giving your body [life] to another….My very kind and wise husband once left a note for me on Easter morning after the birth of one of our children:  ‘To my wife, before she even goes near the closet on Easter morning…’ he encouraged me to realize that there was no more fitting way to celebrate Easter than in a body that has been undone on behalf of another.”  -Rachel Jankovic