"No, mommy!"
"That's right. And we obey our Sunday school teachers, sit quietly during church, and share toys with each other and our friends. Understand?"
"Yes, Mommy!"
A few weeks ago I was having this discussion with my children when I began to feel a familiar stirring in my heart. I felt as if I was being asked, "Jessica, why are you telling Jack and Anna this?"
I tried to rationalize my heart. I tried to say I was giving the kids these instructions because I wanted them to know what was expected. But deep down, I knew that wasn't the truth.
The truth is I was telling Jack and Anna what was expected of them because I wanted them to make me look good. I wanted people at church to think well of my family. I didn't want to deal with discipline issues that day.
The truth is I cared more about looking good than my children's hearts.
This is familiar territory. I've struggled with caring too much about what other people think for a long time. And the worst part is that my children will eventually, if they haven't already, pick up on what motivates me. They'll know whether I'm telling them to do something out of fear of God or fear of man.
On that particular day I stopped and I listened to the conviction in my heart. I asked God to help me get my heart right, and then explained to my children that the reason I wanted them to be well behaved at church was so we could be lights for Jesus to others who might not know Him and that it was also a way to show love to others.
As their mom I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility I've been given to train them up, because I have so far
to go in my own walk with the Lord. But then I'm reminded, I'm not suppose to be God to them. I'm suppose to show them real Christianity so that hopefully, one day, we'll all be in this walk together.
This is familiar territory. I've struggled with caring too much about what other people think for a long time. And the worst part is that my children will eventually, if they haven't already, pick up on what motivates me. They'll know whether I'm telling them to do something out of fear of God or fear of man.
On that particular day I stopped and I listened to the conviction in my heart. I asked God to help me get my heart right, and then explained to my children that the reason I wanted them to be well behaved at church was so we could be lights for Jesus to others who might not know Him and that it was also a way to show love to others.
As their mom I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility I've been given to train them up, because I have so far
to go in my own walk with the Lord. But then I'm reminded, I'm not suppose to be God to them. I'm suppose to show them real Christianity so that hopefully, one day, we'll all be in this walk together.
I find myself struggling with this too. Continually being reminded of WHY it's important for them to obey...to hold them up to God's perfect standards so that they can see their need for Him.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya girl! It's always a heart issue - for both them and us - isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI just wrote about how I realized I couldn't fake it any longer when I had my third. Have you read Ann Voskamp's book? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you for hopping on over to my blog!! Sorry it took me so long to respond, I haven't had a computer for a few days. Excited to be your newest follower:)
ReplyDeleteGood post! My hubby once said not to worry about what people think of you, they are too busy wondering what you think of them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog! :)
Great reminder. I constantly struggle with the same things, thanks for sharing!
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ReplyDeleteI gave you a blog award, Jessica! :)
ReplyDeleteIn case you don't know my blog, it's thehaugfamily2007.blogspot.com :)
ReplyDelete