Lately I've been thinking about the impressions that I'm leaving on my children. I know heavy stuff, huh? It's very humbling to realize that I know absolutely nothing about raising children up to know and love Jesus. Every day I feel as though I'm just blindly directing them and guiding them, and praying that somehow they'll see Jesus and His love for them despite my faulty parenting. I've obviously studied the Bible on the subject of parenting and read several awesome books on the topic, and I'm extremely blessed to be surrounded by Christian families who have the same desires to raise their children up that Erik and I do, but seeing as how I've never done this before- and even if I had no two children are ever the same!- I feel indescribably inadequate to parent my children.

Sure I can justify myself saying that we do all the "Christian" things with our kids. We take them to Church, we pray before meals, say bedtime prayers, and read Bible stories. We do little catechisms here or there and are striving to train them in first time obedience, but sometimes I have to check myself. Am I doing these things because I love Jesus with such a fierce passion that my hearts desire is for my children to love Jesus with all their hearts? Or is it just my pride motivating me to strive towards these things? It's a hard question to answer, because if I'm really honest sometimes my pride is what motivates me to train my children. But worse than that would be not confronting these thoughts and letting it take root, and then when Jack and Anna (and the new baby!) grow up and start having questions of their own, or perhaps rebelling against what they've been taught, I would have to stare at the fact that I made an idol out of parenting. That none of it was genuine or pure, but instead I made it something disgusting.

I have been praying fervently, and will for as long as I'm their mom, for wisdom in training these children to love God. Obviously I believe that ultimately it's all up to God as to whether or not these children live their lives for Him or not, and I am aware that I am going to make lots of mistakes, but as Christian parents we clearly have an obligation to teach them diligently. And you know what my mind keeps coming back to? The scripture where Jesus tells the people that the glass is dirty on the inside but clean on the outside. I need to first look at my own personal relationship with God before I'm too quick to harp on my children's sin. It's not been an easy thing to realize, but really while it's good that my kids know how to pray and are familiar with Bible stories, is it going to do that much good when they're ten? If my kids are anything like I was, and most kids, they can sense a phony. I don't ever want my kids to think I'm perfect(or to think that I think I'm perfect!), and never be able to share their struggles, their hearts with me. When I think about the impression I want to leave on my children, I want them to know I love Jesus, but I also want them to realize that I'm not any better than them and I'm on the same journey they're on.

Choosing to Enjoy

It was one of those days. It all started out nice enough. Got up before everyone else, enjoyed some coffee with my Bible study, the kids were still asleep after my study was over so I was able to relax a little longer and check my email (of course I should have picked take a shower, but you know.) Once the kids got up it appeared that they had woke up on the wrong side of the bed, all the peace and warmth I had been feeling earlier that day went by the wayside. I was getting frustrated.

When I was getting them dressed for the day, they were wiggly and irritated that I was changing them on what was a very cold morning. My goal of always speaking in a gentle voice to my kids was quickly diminishing and I was giving into my own irritability, which in turn was making them more grouchy(hmm wonder why?) Anna had been particularly clingy and grumpy that morning, and I was rushing around like a crazy woman trying to pick up the house and get myself cleaned up since I had a doctors appointment to be at by noon. I was not in the mood to deal with an uncooperative child. However, as I was brushing my teeth that morning, I felt a familiar pull. A conviction. Why should my kids be in great, accommodating moods every day? When did having a clean house to come home to at the end of the day become more important to me than seeing to their needs? Why was I so surprised when my 2 year old threw a temper fit over his cereal, and my one year old decided she didn't feel like taking her morning nap? They're toddlers, and God has placed me as their mother to love, guide, and yes discipline and train them. But I also know that God has given me these kids to conform me to be more like Jesus, and I am very aware of my need for Grace every day as I try to figure this mothering thing out.

As I was standing in the bathroom, I felt like God was telling me that I could either choose to act just like they were, or I could stop what I was doing pick up Anna and sit beside Jack while he played. Thankfully, God gave me the grace to stop. I wrapped up my little girl in her pink blanket and sat next to Jack while he served us dinner from his kitchen set. After about twenty minutes of this I remembered there was something that really did need to be done that day before I left for the doctor, I braced myself for the crying to begin again, and reminded myself that there was a right way and a wrong way for me to handle those situations. However, there was no crying. The kids were content to play for a little bit by themselves. I am positive that this won't be the last time I mess up and get my priorities mixed up. But at least I can look back on this day and be encouraged that by the grace of God I can always choose to enjoy my kids.

Baby 3 update

I am right around five weeks from my due date! I know I can't believe it, this pregnancy has gone by so fast. I have already informed my husband that any more children we have, we must try to have them be born in the winter, because between holidays and birthdays I have barely had time to remember I'm pregnant. Ok that might not be completely true, but you get my point.

I am right around 33 weeks pregnant, and at my last ultra sound baby was a little more than 3 pounds. The baby is very active, so active in fact I'm a little nervous about if it's going to be a hyper toddler. Erik and I were laughing today about how when I was pregnant with Jack he was pretty active, and he is most definitely a busy boy, and Anna was never all that active and she's our little sleepy head. So I'm thinking there are some personality traits you can already see from the womb!

We do not know what we are having, we like to be surprised, and we keep going back and forth on what we think the baby is. I am really excited to see how this baby is received by Jack and Anna, though I have little doubt it will be a somewhat difficult transition. I well remember having to get used to having a thirteen month old and a newborn(since you know it was only a little over a year ago!) and I don't imagine things being any easier this time around. But it will pass, and before long we won't even remember life before we became a family of five. That's one of the benefits of having children so close together, they are pretty adaptable!

Christmas at the Saltsgaver's

Our Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve. We hadn't put any gifts out until the kids went to bed, because we wanted them to be surprised in the morning.




Miss Anna enjoying the stuffed dog she got from Erik's aunt and uncle. It's a battery charged dog that barks, giggles, and rolls over, and Anna is absolutely in love with it. She most certainly gets her love of animals from her daddy!



The kids enjoying their new fish tank. We put a towel over it, and let the kids pull it off on Christmas Morning.



The mini drum set was the gift that trumped all others for Jack. He adores those drums, much to Erik's delight! When he's coloring, which used to be his all time favorite activity, he'll say, "Can I please get down so I can play the drums?"



The face of one very happy and worn out little boy on Christmas. We had such a great day celebrating and relaxing with each other!

The 2 year old, the Grinch, and the Baby Jesus

Hey, everybody, I am working on a Christmas post, but since it will have lots of pictures in it, it is going to be awhile before it's posted. Just thought I'd share an interesting story with you all about my 2 year old.

Erik and I have been together for five years, and every Christmas Eve since we have always went and looked at Christmas lights. This year we were so looking forward to sharing this tradition with Jack and Anna since they are old enough to see the lights and be excited about them. After our dinner on Christmas Eve we bundled them in their Christmas pajamas, cranked up the Christmas music, and set about our way.

We were happily stopping at the many houses lit up, and pointing out the things we figured the kids would love to see. One of the houses had a gigantic Grinch standing out in front of it with an evil grin on his face. We didn't really comment on it, but when Jack saw it he freaked out, and started screaming, "No more!" repeatedly. We moved onto another house, but Jack had his mind made up that there would be no more looking at Christmas lights that night, and to make things even stranger he kept repeating, "No more Baby Jesus! No more Baby Jesus!" Somehow the kid got it in his head that the Grinch was the Baby Jesus! Nevermind the fact that Jack has seen many Nativity scenes throughout this month, never mind the fact that we have a nativity scene in our house, Jack's mind was made up that the Grinch was in fact baby Jesus.

We thought it was weird, but figured he was probably tired, and we would take them out again Christmas night after they'd had a little rest. So Christmas night rolls around, my inlaws are over enjoying some presents and watching the kids play with all their new toys, when we announce that we are going to go look at Christmas lights again. Jack stops what he's doing, gets very serious, and says, "No more. Please no more! No more baby Jesus!" We were very surprised by his reaction, because like I said, it's not as if we haven't been talking with Jack about why we have Christmas, and why we pray, and he's never had an issue before. We quickly changed the subject and told him we were going to go for a drive with Froggie(his beloved stuffed animal.)

Off we went for the second time, Jack was a nervous wreck, but finally he started to calm down, and by the time we were almost done looking at lights he was very excited. We steered clear of any Grinch's we saw at any houses. When we got home and were getting the kids ready for bed, I brought out the Mary figurine that I have that's holding the Baby, and told Jack, "See this is the baby Jesus!" Relief came over Jack's face, and this morning when he woke up, he walked right up to the manger scene and said, "Good morning, Baby Jesus!" Something tells me we'll be asking God for lots of wisdom throughout our kids lives.

For our sakes He became Poor

"Joy to the World! The LORD has come! Let Earth receive her King."

Merry Christmas Eve to anyone who is still reading this! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, life has been very busy, and there hasn't been much time to get online. Hopefully I'll be updating more now that my husbands finals are over.

Six years ago, when I was eighteen, I became a Christian. That first Christmas as a born again believer was one of the most special Christmas's I've been blessed to have. For some reason, the Lord saved me and gave me a heart for studying and knowing His Word. The last couple of weeks have been filled with lots of activity, and unfortunately time meditating on God coming to Earth hasn't been as frequent as I had hoped it would be, but the last couple of days, the Truth has really been manifesting itself in my life. One thing that has occurred to me is how singing Christmas songs has become such a loved tradition in my life, that I almost forget how true the lyrics are to some of our favorite Christmas Carols(excluding the Santa ones, lol.)

Tonight if you're going to a Christmas Eve service, or tomorrow if your Church has Christmas Church, or if you're just going to be driving around looking at Christmas lights and listening to Christmas Carols, please be encouraged to truly worship the Savior to your favorite songs. And be thankful to God that He loves us so much that 2000 years ago he became poor for our sakes. Not because He owed us any favors, but because He loves us.

Merry Christmas!

Having a Happy Home

I'm not going to lie. Staying home is not something I enjoy doing too much of. I don't like weeks where nothing is going on, and I hate weekends even more that are void of any activity. Call it pregnancy hormones, or maybe it's just the way I am, but I am definitely someone who likes to be busy. One of the reasons I don't like winter is that being on the go is a lot more difficult. Especially with two little ones!

Anyways, I had always heard things like, "You should make your home an exciting place to be," and "One of the best things you can do for kids is staying home more often." I thought these were nice ideas, but I'm not sure I believed them. That is until this week. This week has been crazy busy. Actually, every week since the middle of November has been pretty busy, but this past week has been filled with Moms group, Christmas shopping, doctors appointments for the kids and myself, Church, Bible Studies, and errands. Things were starting to wear on me, but I didn't realize how much things were getting to my kids until Thursday morning when I was bustling them out the door to make yet another doctor appointment. On our way out to the van, my two year old started crying. I asked him what was wrong a little distractedly, and buckled him into his car seat.

The crying continued for a block or two, when finally he says in his little two year old voice, "Mommy, want to stay home with you! Don't want to go bye bye!" How that pierced me! At the stop light, I turned around and told him we did have to go see the doctor that day, but I promised we would stay home and play this weekend. I'm not sure how much he understood,but he did eventually stop crying. And since Thursday afternoon, we have been at home. And when we have left for Church or errands, it's been the four (five?) of us together. So the past few days have been spent coloring, playing with play doh, decorating Christmas cookies, reading stories, wrestling(that's more Erik and the kids, my belly gets in the way), and having family dinners. It might not seem like anything too exciting, but to our kids it's much better this way.