For about as long as I can remember I've struggled with this little voice in the back of my mind that whispers,"You aren't good enough."
When I was younger and had moved to different schools I was convinced nobody liked me.
When I was a little older, I not only convinced myself that no one liked me but that I was also fat and ugly.
As I've gotten married and had kids I've continued to believe these things, but also added more lies to the mix.
"I don't know enough about the Bible, so I shouldn't be leading this ministry."
"I'm a bad mom, these kids probably would've been better off with someone else. I'm failing them."
"I'm so disorganized, and absent minded. Erik probably wishes he was married to someone else."
And on and on it goes. The little voice that's constantly comparing myself to others, that's wishing I could be more attractive, or organized, or more patient is almost constantly with me. These thoughts and feeling are almost second nature to me.
Perhaps I don't always voice these fears, but after so long of telling myself these lies I've just believed them.
Thankfully a couple of years ago, after I had shared these insecurities of mine with a friend, they looked me straight in the eye and said,"You know that these are all lies straight from the enemy, right?"
I had never thought much about my insecurities from a spiritual standpoint. I just simply believed that this was who I was. That conversation with my friend was a huge turning point in my life.
I'm telling the lies to leave. I'm asking God to remind who I am in Christ.
I don't want to be so caught up in this tangled mess of lies that I miss out on God's power. Yes, I'm a mess. I'm a sinner. But I've been set free. I am redeemed, and God loves me. Not only does he love me, but he delights in me(Zephaniah 3:17.)
I'm asking God to replace the lies with truth. That is where I want to rest.
"Little children you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
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