Tuesday, March 6, 2012

In Which I Eat My Words

This morning it took me an hour to unload my dishwasher. An hour. To unload a dishwasher! It was a crazy morning, but truthfully this is becoming normal around here. As soon as I start, someone needs their diaper changed, someone else needs discipline, and on it goes. Before I know it it's 11 o'clock in the morning and the breakfast dishes are still on the table, and Max is up from his morning nap needing to nurse. I'll be honest with you and say that there's been more than a few occasions where I've buried my head in my hands and and said, "This. is. Insane."

And it is. I think every mother can relate to feeling this way. Having little kids is hard work. It's give, give, and more give and it doesn't matter if you have anything left to give. It's constant reliance on Christ to get you through the day. This season of life is fun, and beautiful, and there are many cute moments I want to hold on to, but I'd be lying if I pretended it was all rainbows and butterflies. The truth is that I have never been more aware of my need for a Savior since becoming a mom.

And here is where I sigh and reminisce about Erik and I's younger years. Back then we would tell people we wanted a big family, and how we wanted to home school, and probably even adopt one day. Most people would laugh at us and make comments about how their two kids were more than enough. And I would smile politely, but inside I was prideful. Inside I was saying things like, " Ah, yes, the boy for me a girl for you and thank the Lord we're finally through attitude.Well that's fine for them, but I love children. God says children are a blessing. I am so glad I don't have that attitude."

And now here I am, laughing at myself, but wishing I still had some of my former confidence. Please hear me, though. I love my children. I adore the life God has blessed me with, and I absolutely believe children are a blessing from God. Erik and I still have the same convictions, and by God's grace we will see them through. Actually, it's only by God's grace we will see anything through, or do anything remotely good in our parenting.

And that's the truth. I can't be the wife or mother I want to be in my own strength. Praise God for His all sufficient grace!

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.....For when I am weak  then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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  1. Amen and amen, sister. I'm a tired Mama, one that's tired more often then she's not tired. I always said I wanted 4 kids, because I wasn't going to be one of "those people" who only had 2 kids. HAHA! Well, I think we'll have one more, Lord willing, but I'm not holding myself to #4 - ;) You are so right, when you become a Mama you recognize your need for Jesus all the more. You also recognize the need to quiet your heart and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading. I feel like I live in a blur, but I at least want it be a Spirit led blur. Great post!

    1. Thank you, LeAnna! And amen to living life in a Spirit led blur! :)

  2. I love the verse you shared! Its so true being a mommy is hard work!. I'm so glad we have a gracious Father who always gives us strength in those hard moments and joy in it all!! :)
    Your post is very encouraging!!

  3. Ah, I remember those days all to well. I'm still a very tired mommy and we still have those days when it feels like "nothing" got done (except all of the training and caring for those sweet little ones which IS something!). But now with 7 kids 11 and under the dishwasher gets emptied and filled by the kids... Some things will get easier. It is a rough season, but keep leaning on God. What a blessing that God has entrusted these souls to our care for a short time, but then you already know that!

  4. I really needed to read this today! Thank you Jess. =)

  5. Yes, I can totally relate! Great post - very encouraging!!

  6. Definitely can relate! Thank you for sharing this!

  7. Hi Jessica!

    Nice to meet another mom of many youngins. :D Your doing an awesome work!

  8. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com

  9. When the kids are small, it is so hard. I look back at my journals from those days to remind myself every once in a while. But now that my kids are older, I miss those days and get teary-eyed thinking that they are in my rear view mirror. Enjoy the chaos! ;)

  10. Ah yes, the blessed chaos of having a million small children...I know it well. And of course, the simultaneous joy! Who knew one could have such complicated emotions? :)

  11. What a lovely post. As a mama of 8, I have many days of leaning on the Lord for strength as there can be much to do! Oh, but the blessings are too many to count....

    Thank you for sharing this encouragement.


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