Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Condemnation & Legalism

Most mama's I know have struggled at least a little bit with mommy guilt. I know I do. Some days I feel like a complete and utter failure in the way I'm parenting my kids. I'll often quip to my friends that I feel like "It's the blind leading the blind around here!"

Because, honestly, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I don't come from a big family, and neither does my husband, neither of us were home schooled, and since those are two big things in my life I often struggle with feeling like a failure. Like someone else could be doing a better job than me. Like I'm messing everything up, and one day my kids will rebel, despise me and the way they were raised, and never walk with the Lord(which is totally not in my control, but believing one lie often leads to believing more lies.)

But here's the other thing I've been noticing about condemnation. It makes me more legalistic. Let's say I hear about how another friends child loves being read to from books that are above their grade level. Instead of being happy for my friend, I might start feeling like a failure because Jack has a hard time sitting still for books that aren't picture books. So what might happen the next day during school time? If I allow the guilt and feelings of condemnation to rule my heart, I might really push for Jack to sit still for a book I know he doesn't understand(or at least enjoy), get really frustrated with him, and damage the relationship I have with my son.

Friends, this should not be. If we are walking with the Lord, there really is no condemnation(Romans 8:1). We are all different, and we can rest in the fact that the Lord has different plans for each of our lives. He wants us to seek Him and follow Him, and His plan for our lives is going to look different than our best friends. But we can rest in knowing that God is Sovereign and knows what's best for us.

"The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance." Psalm 16:6

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  1. So true. We do so much damage when we compare ourselves or our children with others. You hit the nail on the head which means you aren't such "a big mess." : )
    But, on the other hand, when we think we are a big mess we see ourselves more clearly and humbly, so,yes, you are a big mess and so am I. And I'm so glad our God works with big messes like us.
    Bless you,

  2. This is so good! I struggle a lot with the same thing. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thanks, Kelly! It's always good to hear from you, how are you?!

  3. I love this! It is so true and I find I struggle with the same thing. I did not grow up the same way my husband and I are raising our children and I often feel a bit 'out of my league'. Isn't it good to remember we are all in this journey together? All messy, and all blessed. :)

    Gretchen :)

  4. Thank You for this blog Jessica. It was really helpful & encouraging :)
    -Kendra Spond


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