Monday, May 21, 2012

The Same Team

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Tell me if you've ever had this happen to you. Your husband arrives home from work completely exhausted and starts telling you what a rough day he's had. Do you sympathetically scratch his back and say,"Oh I'm so sorry, honey, why don't you go lie down for awhile? I'll try to keep the kids quiet so you can rest." Or is your response more like,"Well at least you weren't stuck here with the kids all day and you got to have adult conversation! These kids are just as much yours as they are mine, so suck it up until bedtime!"

Guess how I usually respond? If you guessed the first response, as much as I hate to admit it, you'd be wrong.

Recently, I've realized how competitive I am with my husband. I treat our lives, and our different roles in our family as a competition. I'm not sure how long I've done this, but it comes so naturally to me, that it's hard to stop. But I absolutely must stop. The Bible says married couples should complement each other, not compete with each other over who has the harder job!

My job is is to help, respect, love, and submit to Erik. It is not my job to tell him when it's ok for him to be tired, or to convict him of sin. Besides, can you imagine if the roles were reversed, and he was doing that to me? I would be miserable!

Life gets hard. I think it's safe to say that I'm in a difficult season of life right now, with seemingly millions of children running around(or, you know, four.) I feel isolated, overwhelmed, and frazzled quite a bit. But you know who probably understands how I feel better than anyone? My husband! How silly of me to try to compete with him, when he knows what I'm going through better than anyone else. Yes we have different jobs, and no he's not home all day every day, but he's still taking care of and providing for his family.

The bottom line is that I must start remembering that Erik and I are on the same team. We have different roles, but when it's all said and done we both want the same things for our family.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Proverbs 14:1

Growing Home

Linked to A Wise Woman Builds Her Home & Yes they're all mine


  1. Ouch. Must go doctor my toes... ;)

    I think so many wives and mothers struggle with this. And honestly, it's sometimes even the same way with our husbands. I know mine thinks that it would be SO nice to stay home all day. Then the weekends roll around and he's reminded of just how much work it is. Love what you said about the bottom line. We need to build our spouse up, not tear him down. Great post, and great (read:ouchy) reminder!

    1. Haha! Yes, my husband has, at times, felt that same way, but now he tells me how thankful he is for his job! :)

  2. Great post! I find myself struggling with the same feelings from time to time.

  3. Thank you for this reminder!! I was just talking about this with a friend today. I definitely struggle with this, oh boy. You're right, we're on the same team with our spouses!

  4. Great analysis. There definitely CAN be a feeling of competition--which one of us works harder?--and we forget to think the best of the other person. Encouragement of the other person, rather than fighting for them to appreciate us, should be our goal. Thanks for the post!

  5. Yes...this is such a good thing to keep in mind!

  6. Hi....a new visitor/new blogger stopping by after I was reading thorugh comments of 5000 likes post...I appreciate your honesty in this post...
    :0 michy


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