I have been really seeking the Lord on this issue, trying to decide if God honestly expects us to obey him the first time he commands us to do something. As I have been seeking Him, knowing He gives wisdom to those who ask, Adam and Eve came to my mind. Then Jonah. Did Adam and Eve get a few extra chances to stay in the Garden of Eden after they disobeyed or were they corrected after they disobeyed the first time? How about Jonah? After he disobeyed God, wasn't he punished by being thrown into the belly of a whale?
And what about the scripture that tells children to obey their parents as unto the Lord(Col. 3:20)? Obviously children are not going to obey their parents unless their mom and dad teach them.
My husband and I are young parents and don't have much wisdom in child training yet. All we can do is seek the Lord and strive to glean wisdom from older and wiser Christians. Most everyone we've talked to has told us the same thing, "Train your children to obey the first time, but be willing to pick your battles. And always point them back to Christ" There is such wisdom in this, and I'm striving to keep that in my mind at all times, because ultimately I don't care how "well behaved" my children might seem, the only thing I care about is teaching them to obey so that, if the Lord wills, one day it will be easier for them to obey the Lord.