Hello, again!- Catching up

Well, it's been awhile since I last blogged! Life has been busy and full, and things are starting to feel more "normal" now with five children.

The camera on my phone is broken(thankyou, Max!), so I haven't got any recent pictures to share. Poor Luke is going to have a complex when he realizes that we only have newborn pictures of him! :) But he's doing very well, 2 months old, almost 14 pounds(yes he's a chunk!), with precious cheeks, and he's sleeping pretty well at night now(usually goes about 5 hours then eats then goes back to sleep.)

We finished our classical conversations group at the end of April, so I guess that means that Jack's officially in first grade, and Anna's officially going into Kindergarten*sniffle*! Crazy how time flies. I figure we'll continue to do some school during the summer especially when it gets ridiculously hot, but focus more on subjects that are especially interesting to them. And we read a lot every day, and spend lots of time outside, so I think they're doing exactly what they should be doing.:) I do have a plan for what we will be doing this fall that I'm pretty excited about, so I'll be sure and share that with you all soon.

I've been reading that Trim Healthy Mama book, and I've been trying to implement the plans they talk about for the last month. I was pretty discouraged when I went to the doctor for my post delivery visit, and I'd only lost 15 pounds(I had gained a little over 30 pounds when I was pregnant.) So far I've lost about 10-12 pounds following the principles they lay out in their book, so that's been encouraging.

I've also been reading through through Romans the past couple of weeks, and trying to go through it slowly so I can really process what it is I'm reading. And then I've also read Fit to Burst, and I have been reading Real Food for Mother and Baby. All books I'd highly recommend! :)

So that's what's been going on in the last few weeks(I would apologize for all the rambling, but that is what this blog is, afterall!)

How are the rest of you doing? Anyone else doing the Trim Healthy Mama plan?

Choosing Love

I'm going to be really honest with you all. I am tired. I am hormonal. And I am selfish.

How's that for being real?

There are days where I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can read a book, and take a nap. And there are times where I feel completely wracked with guilt because everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this season because my kids are only little once, and so often I'm not enjoying this season of life because I'm tired and selfish. And hormonal. But I already told you that.

Now, there's nothing wrong with being tired and hormonal. God designed a woman's body in some pretty unique ways, and it's only natural to have some crazy hormones especially after giving birth. And obviously there's no sin in being tired, it's kind of an obvious result of having little children particularly when you have a nursing infant who doesn't sleep through the night. The problem lies with how I deal with them.

I don't always feel like smiling at my children, and reading that book. I don't always want to sing to Max, and I definitely don't always want to discipline in love. 

But...sometimes you just have to make yourself. If we're believers then God doesn't leave us in our sin. God promises to give us the strength to face the trials that come our way. God wants us to rely on Him to get through the day, and God gives grace to those who know they can't do anything without His help.

The truth is I don't always feel these happy , loving feelings towards my children. But, I can ask God to help me love them the way he's called me to, and He will. He will help me choose love even when I'm exhausted, even when I'm overwhelmed by the needs of five small children, and even when I want everyone to leave me alone.

He is faithful. He will give us everything we need to face the day. And we can rest in that truth.

My Reality

I fear I may have left you all with the impression in my last post that life was moving along beautifully with five children, with hardly any problems.

Well let me just set the record straight.

There are days where I'm lucky to get a shower before noon, and I spend most of the day in my pajamas.

More times than I can count, I'm so overwhelmed that I yell, and have to ask for forgiveness.

Most days I can only find time to read a psalm in my daily read through the Bible in a year plan, because I find it's all I can focus on.

Most of my prayers are sent up like flairs, basically always asking God to help me, give me strength, or give me wisdom.

A lot of nights dinner has consisted of Peanut butter and Jelly.

We would be ordering in a lot more if we could afford it.

Homeschooling has been hit or miss.

We've watched way (WAY) too much tv in the last 7 weeks.

Being on time only slightly late somewhere probably means that my kids have shoes on the wrong feet, the girls hair hasn't been brushed, and that they have food on their faces.

Life right now is crazy, and a little overwhelming. But slowly we're figuring things out, and discovering our new "normal."