Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Choosing Love

Photo: One day I will laugh..

I'm going to be really honest with you all. I am tired. I am hormonal. And I am selfish.

How's that for being real?

There are days where I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can read a book, and take a nap. And there are times where I feel completely wracked with guilt because everyone keeps telling me to enjoy this season because my kids are only little once, and so often I'm not enjoying this season of life because I'm tired and selfish. And hormonal. But I already told you that.

Now, there's nothing wrong with being tired and hormonal. God designed a woman's body in some pretty unique ways, and it's only natural to have some crazy hormones especially after giving birth. And obviously there's no sin in being tired, it's kind of an obvious result of having little children particularly when you have a nursing infant who doesn't sleep through the night. The problem lies with how I deal with them.

I don't always feel like smiling at my children, and reading that book. I don't always want to sing to Max, and I definitely don't always want to discipline in love. 

But...sometimes you just have to make yourself. If we're believers then God doesn't leave us in our sin. God promises to give us the strength to face the trials that come our way. God wants us to rely on Him to get through the day, and God gives grace to those who know they can't do anything without His help.

The truth is I don't always feel these happy , loving feelings towards my children. But, I can ask God to help me love them the way he's called me to, and He will. He will help me choose love even when I'm exhausted, even when I'm overwhelmed by the needs of five small children, and even when I want everyone to leave me alone.

He is faithful. He will give us everything we need to face the day. And we can rest in that truth.


  1. You and me are in the same boat! My baby is 10 weeks old and I have three others 4 and under. And I don't always like them either. I don't always want to do what I know I need to do with them. I'm reading this book called Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control. I don't know how I feel about the parenting techniques because it's for adopted kids with serious, serious issues. BUT - some things it's said have started my asking myself whenever I am out-of-control-angry "what are you afraid of?". Sometimes I'm just at my limit and my answer is "I'm afraid they are all going to start crying right this minute" and saying it outload has really helped...
    Not being pregnant anymore has also really helped :)
    But be encouraged at least that you aren't alone. We all know what 'the experts' say, but out here in the trenches, some days loving our kids the best we can is just making sure they are fed and not harming themselves. And that's ok.

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  3. hugs... those first few months after the baby comes are HARD!


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