Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Are They "Enough?"

I've been thinking a lot lately about friends. Girl friends to be exact. As some of you who read this blog may know my family and I recently moved to a new town a couple hours away from our old town. And while we have found a fantastic church, we are still a ways off from having the close friendships we were used to back home. Keeping all that in mind, I've been wondering a lot lately about the necessity of having close friends.

I don't think I have a single memory of my mom going out with girl friends.  She always acted as if my dad, brother, and I were all she needed and never made us feel like she was getting sick of us and needed a night away. And I desperately want Erik and my kids to know how much I love them and not feel like I think they are a burden. However, sometimes it's nice to be around other women who just "get" you. But I almost feel guilty for desiring to have that fellowship. I mean, my husband and kids should be my first priority and they should be my most important relationships. Aren't they enough for me?

But you know, maybe it's not a matter of whether or not my husband and children are "enough." Obviously they need to be my first priority(after the Lord, of course), but I don't think there's anything wrong with desiring to have those friendships.  I love being around women who are in a similar season of life(and I really love being around older and wiser women!) It reminds me that I'm not alone, and it encourages me to love and respect my husband and to keep planting seeds in my children's hearts. There have been many times I have come home from a night with godly friends and felt refreshed, and my vision for motherhood has been renewed.

So what about you all? Do you have close girl friends you are able to get together with on a regular basis?



  1. I definitely do. We haven't ever 'gone out' for a night, but if we get chatting while exchanging kids or after church....we can't seem to stop! I have heard 'iron sharpens iron' so many times and it's so true!!! When I need a 'night out', I always go with my hubby.....but an afternoon play date, or a walk around the neighborhood with other women in my situation is eye opening, refreshing, and motivating!!! Even though we normally see each other in a group setting (families getting together) or in passing or a 'few and far between' phone call, we all know that the others are there if we need them! Don't feel guilty :)

  2. I do have friends that I love to get together with, but getting together as "just the girls" does not happen very often. Instead we tend to get together as families for fellowship together. Tonight I'll be going to a monthly meeting of homeschooling moms in the area. This time is a refreshing time of fellowship with a purpose of encouraging one another in our walks with the Lord and as homeschool moms. Our husbands, children, and our friends can not be "enough" but they are part of the body of Christ which HE has given us to care for and encourage one another! Only God can be "enough"

  3. Nicole,
    I so know what you're talking about! When I get together with my friends it's nonstop talking, but it's such a blast!

    Large family small world,
    Thank you so much for that reminder. God should be our only source of strength, and we should only find our satisfaction in Him.
    Many blessings, ladies! :)

  4. While your hubby and kiddos are absolutely your primary responsibility, I actually would say they they are intentionally NOT enough. God created his people to be a community and I think that all those relationships are necessary and valuable. I hope you can form some good friendships where you are!

    I love my girl friends. I don't have very many but they are all special and we do get to go out. So fun! Every so often we will go out for dinner at 8 after we get the kiddos in bed. My hubby wants me to go and he always enjoys the opportunity to read. :-) Sometimes I feel like I should feel guilty but my hubby says "you absolutely should not". :-)

  5. Girl friends are a MUST!!! I don't have any locally {I just moved too!} but my partner in crime is only about two hours away from me. We try to see each other at least once a month!

  6. Gina,
    I miss you too! Hopefully we will see each other at Christmas...and maybe Anna can get some more fashion ideas from Kessa!

    Your comment encourages me so much. I'm only a little over 2 hours away from my old town, so maybe I can try to get together with my girlfriends more often than I realize!

    We used to put the kids to bed and then go out for girls nights too, and it's such a blessing to have husbands who encourage those friendships too! :)

  7. I truly believe you need girl friend I totally know what your talking about iv moved from home also and it's been so hard for me not to have my close friends near by
    And its also been hard to meet new ones were I am right now To be honest iv learned just about how important it is not just for me but also for my kids, but I know that God will place that one special friend in my life that loves the Lord just as much as I do, I'll be praying for you girl During this time. ;) and remember this is just a season and it will pass thanks for posting on it because I really needed to hear it God bless

  8. Crystal,
    Thank you so much for your prayers! I will be praying for you as well, and it's so good to remember that this "new" feeling truly is just a season. :)

  9. Yes, girlfriends are a must. The kind you can be real with and the kind that will spur you on toward love and good deeds. Iron sharpens iron. :)

  10. We just recently moved and I am on the same boat as you. I desperately need friends! I even wrote a blog post about it, when you get a chance, stop by and say hi :)

  11. There are seasons of life when girlfriends can be life savers! :) Sometimes you just need to talk to another woman, and those friendships are good things given by God.
    If God has not provided friends in your area, you can still be sharpened by blog reading and gleaning from Christian books. OR~~ you could visit a nursing home and be a friend to an lonely elderly lady. That would be a win-win!

  12. Jessica,
    Yes, we women need girlfriends! Take Mary for instance. The virgin mother, who you know the whole town was talking about, even had a girlfriend to confide in - Elizabeth. Elizabeth was there to share the pregnancy excitement and to encourage Mary during a time that a man really wouldn't know what to say. :) My husband is my BEST friend but there are times that I just need that Godly girl friend to talk to or hang out with. I will be praying for God to deliver the right friends for you and your husband at your new location. He will deliver. Another example: I live in Georgia and He delivered one of my best girl friends from IL. Who would have ever guessed He would move someone that far to be a vital part of my life. He is so good!

    Be Blessed!

  13. I don't "go out with the girls" per se, but I do belong to two ladies' Bible studies where I can fellowship (and vent) with young moms and likeminded Christian women. That is such a blessing to me! However, I am not a social butterfly and don't derive much pleasure from lots of social interactions. The girl friends I have are few but very precious to me. It's good to have girl friends but, like you said, the Lord and then our families must come first.


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